A Letter to my 15 Year Old Self

Saturday 26 October 2019

Dear Nabeela,

You are probably freaking out right now and stressing out over your O' Levels. It will be okay. I'm glad you had fun in school and I'm glad you found some of your bestest friends there. They will be your pillars of strength growing up. Almost 15 years later, they are still people you run to. About your exam results, they were a little below your expectations. You studied hard and did your best and I know we sort of blanked out during additional math on a particular question that we've done over and over again. It happens... and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it. It's honestly quite funny now.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes. Everyone makes it. What's important is you try and keep trying. Actually, I'm not too worried about that. You're a dreamer... you're driven... you're ambitious. You had fire... honestly, a lot more fire than I have now. Along the way I sort of got discouraged but that's another story. I hope you never get discouraged... no matter what anyone says or does to you.

You are beautiful. I know we're not... Kendall Jenner beautiful haha (not sure if KUWTK are on air already back then but if it is... yes... Kendall will become the hottest Kardashian). We're not the obvious kind, no. I know this sounds cliche but... everybody IS beautiful in their own special way. Beauty in their smile, in their eyes, in the way they talk, in the way they walk, in the way they think. And kid you not, we just did two Bobbi Brown campaigns this year. Can you even believe that? I can't wrap my head around it sometimes. I'm just holding on to it for as long as I can... given the fast pace of the digital world. One day you're in, the next day you're out. But that's okay. We'll adapt.

You also meet the love of your life this year. It will be an amazing journey. You'll get married and it will be wonderful. There will be a little heartbreak along the way at the doctor's hospital but it ends well. I won't spoil it for you. But trust me... everything will be okay. About the love of your life... he will soon prove to be the sincerest and kindest and most loving man you'll ever meet. No one else comes close. 

Travel more. You would think when you get a job, you'll have more money to fly. My darling, the problem is we don't have a lot of time. Plus it was definitely cheaper to travel around Europe from UK... so do it during your University years. You will not regret it. Spend less on materialistic goods if you can. I know those Balenciaga bags come in yummy colours... but you hardly use them now. 

Make wiser decisions especially with regards to the people you let in your life. I want to tell you to also think hard before making a commitment for example... your choice of Uni, or your degree, or your job... but I suppose that's something you have to go through yourself to understand. But if I could stop you from doing one thing... do not take Time Series Econometrics... that is so abstract it does not make any sense. You end up extremely stressed out the night before the exam (you passed btw) and had a few Redbulls. It was probably the last time you had it. You met more bestfriends in Nottingham... and darling, over the years you will understand why God gave them to you and why you have each other.

Lastly, do not let the heartbreaks and the evils of the world... and the horrendous online trolls... change your heart. I know you always want to do good, you always mean well... stay that way. We can't let disappointments get to us. Our heart can't harden just because we want to protect it. 

Live fully. Love deeply. Laugh harder. Worry less.


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