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“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

Before we had boyfriends or husbands, we had our gal pals. They stuck by us through all the storms that came our way, and we knew we would be okay because they were just a call away. I'm so lucky to have best friends like these. They finish off my sentences and they know what I'm thinking about by just giving them a look. When I need them, they show up with comfort food. When they need me, I drop everything to be there for them. Soulmates. I can't imagine living life without them.



8th March marks International Womens' Day and today I would like to not only celebrate our fight for gender equality... but I would like to celebrate these women in my life. They were there for me through love and heartbreaks, tears, babies, secrets, uncontrollable laughter, bad days, great days, highs and lows and internet trolls. They helped build me to be the person I am today. They made me stronger, wiser and more courageous than I could have ever been.



I wanted to share my favourite hilarious stories with my girlfriends with you but after thinking about all the things we've done (and we're ridiculous silly idiots btw), I don't think I could ever disclose them! I just spent the past two hours laughing at all these un-share-able stories that I have with them. OMG. WHAT IN THE WORLD? HAHAHA. Believe me when I say we had so much fun pre-wife days. After some filtering, these are the bearable ones (btw I've used their fake names to conceal their identities):

1. The One Where Lily Peed In The Kitchen 
Lily had been holding her pee while cooking/cleaning in the kitchen. Out of no where (that's how I remember it), her leg had pins and needles. One of us (we're pretty mean), started kicking her poor leg and soon after, we almost had a puddle in the kitchen. Love you, Lily. But we did not want to clean that mess up. HAHAHAHA.


2. The One Where We Followed Our Cute Landlord And He Made Us Walk Home
Our landlord arrived pretty early one day to sign some papers for the house. I don't know why we were in a rush or why we had to go to his office, but we left in our PJs and slippers, in our cute landlord's car. When we arrived at his house and signed off our agreements, he said bye and we were like um hello, how do we get home? It was a hilarious walk back. In our PJs. In our slippers. In the SNOW. On my birthday.... I swear when we got home, my feet were blue.

3. The One Where My Wedding Dress Ripped On Stage
During my sanding, as I was sitting down on my pelamin, my back zipper tore from the top to my bum. Thank god the top was secured with a hook because the front part of the dress was super heavy from all the beading. My girls rushed to the reception to get a sewing kit and before the night ended and I had to stand in front of cameras for photos, they've had resurrected my dress. (POORLY BTW BUT I LOVE THEM STILL.... HAHAHA I SAY POORLY BECAUSE THAT NIGHT IT TOOK US 2 HOURS TO GET ME OUT OF THAT THING! They stitched that thing back together permanently!)

4. The One Where We Were Third-Wheeling On Many Awkward Dates (I'm not going to give details but my besties know this)
a. The guy who wore a raincoat.
b. The guy who was either really nervous or really cold in the cinema that he was vibrating like a phone on his seat.
c. The guy who wore flip flops on the first date.
d. This list is endless.

5. The One Where Fiona Wore Heels To The Park And Fell On Her Knees. Twice.
She doesn't usually where heels but Kurt Geiger was on sale and we bought a million shoes. We decided to walk around in the park with our new shoes and as we were walking on the sidewalk, Fiona fell on her knees. It was so funny. It was like a cartoon moment. We all just stared at her until we broke into fits of laughter. She was literally praying (sujud) on the ground in front of cars. You had to be there. HAHA. Fiona broke up with those shoes that day.

Ahh. Where would I be without you girls?

Happy International Womens' Day, Queens. May we all lift each other and celebrate each others' successes, always. 

Love,

Gal Pals

Friday, 8 March 2019

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

Before we had boyfriends or husbands, we had our gal pals. They stuck by us through all the storms that came our way, and we knew we would be okay because they were just a call away. I'm so lucky to have best friends like these. They finish off my sentences and they know what I'm thinking about by just giving them a look. When I need them, they show up with comfort food. When they need me, I drop everything to be there for them. Soulmates. I can't imagine living life without them.



8th March marks International Womens' Day and today I would like to not only celebrate our fight for gender equality... but I would like to celebrate these women in my life. They were there for me through love and heartbreaks, tears, babies, secrets, uncontrollable laughter, bad days, great days, highs and lows and internet trolls. They helped build me to be the person I am today. They made me stronger, wiser and more courageous than I could have ever been.



I wanted to share my favourite hilarious stories with my girlfriends with you but after thinking about all the things we've done (and we're ridiculous silly idiots btw), I don't think I could ever disclose them! I just spent the past two hours laughing at all these un-share-able stories that I have with them. OMG. WHAT IN THE WORLD? HAHAHA. Believe me when I say we had so much fun pre-wife days. After some filtering, these are the bearable ones (btw I've used their fake names to conceal their identities):

1. The One Where Lily Peed In The Kitchen 
Lily had been holding her pee while cooking/cleaning in the kitchen. Out of no where (that's how I remember it), her leg had pins and needles. One of us (we're pretty mean), started kicking her poor leg and soon after, we almost had a puddle in the kitchen. Love you, Lily. But we did not want to clean that mess up. HAHAHAHA.


2. The One Where We Followed Our Cute Landlord And He Made Us Walk Home
Our landlord arrived pretty early one day to sign some papers for the house. I don't know why we were in a rush or why we had to go to his office, but we left in our PJs and slippers, in our cute landlord's car. When we arrived at his house and signed off our agreements, he said bye and we were like um hello, how do we get home? It was a hilarious walk back. In our PJs. In our slippers. In the SNOW. On my birthday.... I swear when we got home, my feet were blue.

3. The One Where My Wedding Dress Ripped On Stage
During my sanding, as I was sitting down on my pelamin, my back zipper tore from the top to my bum. Thank god the top was secured with a hook because the front part of the dress was super heavy from all the beading. My girls rushed to the reception to get a sewing kit and before the night ended and I had to stand in front of cameras for photos, they've had resurrected my dress. (POORLY BTW BUT I LOVE THEM STILL.... HAHAHA I SAY POORLY BECAUSE THAT NIGHT IT TOOK US 2 HOURS TO GET ME OUT OF THAT THING! They stitched that thing back together permanently!)

4. The One Where We Were Third-Wheeling On Many Awkward Dates (I'm not going to give details but my besties know this)
a. The guy who wore a raincoat.
b. The guy who was either really nervous or really cold in the cinema that he was vibrating like a phone on his seat.
c. The guy who wore flip flops on the first date.
d. This list is endless.

5. The One Where Fiona Wore Heels To The Park And Fell On Her Knees. Twice.
She doesn't usually where heels but Kurt Geiger was on sale and we bought a million shoes. We decided to walk around in the park with our new shoes and as we were walking on the sidewalk, Fiona fell on her knees. It was so funny. It was like a cartoon moment. We all just stared at her until we broke into fits of laughter. She was literally praying (sujud) on the ground in front of cars. You had to be there. HAHA. Fiona broke up with those shoes that day.

Ahh. Where would I be without you girls?

Happy International Womens' Day, Queens. May we all lift each other and celebrate each others' successes, always. 

Love,


I always thought introversion was a disease until I stumbled upon a Ted Talk by Susan Cain about The Power of Introverts. That changed the way I saw myself and all the other introverts I’ve met and known. I’m currently reading her book called Quiet Power and it’s interesting how much it resonates with me. I’m an introvert despite what everyone thinks.



I know what you’re thinking. She’s a social media influencer (use word with caution) and of course she’s an extrovert. Wrong. Social Media is the platform where I am able to express myself through pictures. It’s where I am able to wander into the creative abyss and get inspired. I am able to express myself through the captions, through the garments… through comments and direct messages. I am able to be me… by hitting ‘post’.

I know you’re also thinking that I’m not so bad with communicating with people on a daily basis. I admit. I’m not awful at striking conversations and keeping the conversations going. But in that book, it talks about how while introverts can also have normal conversations, it drains them out faster than extroverts. Which basically means, after a lot of conversations, meeting new people, being in new environments and attending social events… I need to take a step back and be in my own world before I lose it. (Which is why I love being in my room in complete silence with my book or… just some alone time with Youtube and Netflix).

Some people don’t really understand this trait. They take it as being anti-social or sombong. But it really does wear me out sometimes. Don’t get me wrong… I do enjoy meeting new people and attending cool launches and fashion shows. I just need some quiet time after that to keep myself balanced.

I feel like introverts are especially misunderstood… at work… in school… basically anywhere you go they seem to only be rewarding the extroverts who are loud and brave and confident and outspoken. That leaves the introverts being scrutinized as being somewhat empty. People sometimes mistake quietness for having no ideas or questions or opinions. In fact… it’s the opposite. We have too many ideas, too many questions and too many opinions. We overthink everything. I don’t know about you, but I’m very calculative when it comes to formal discussions. I overthink every word that comes out of my mouth. Is my question stupid? Will my opinion offend others? Will my idea be good enough? Sometimes I admire the extroverts and how confident they can be. (Sometimes they can say the darnest things and still look smart).

I’m not against these extroverts. I often try to mingle with them just so I can learn how to be one. The book also mentions how when extroverts and introverts work together, magic can happen because they complement one another. Like Steve Jobs and Stephen Wozniak. Wozniak invented the first Apple computer and Steve Jobs’s charismatic behavior was able to drive it (yet when you think of Apple… you think of Jobs). My point exactly.

I get anxiety attacks every now and then. Not super hyperventilating attacks… but milder dull anxieties in the chest that just would not subside. Probably because I overthink some things but mainly because sometimes circumstances force you to be an extrovert. Like at work… my superior commented how I was being overshadowed by a colleague and I think as my performance bonus depends on it… the only way to stop that from happening is to be more visible. I am definitely up for the challenge… but again I don’t think people understand how much it exhausts me. My colleague is a natural when it comes to voicing out his opinions or being the first to talk. I have to have arguments with myself in my head first. But now I have to not be myself and flip a switch to be this other person. So to him, it would probably just require a glass of water to get his energy back. But to me… I kind of need breakfast, lunch and a nap.

Now you’re thinking, maybe I should just land a job where I’m in the backseat. You’re wrong again. Introverts don’t necessarily want to be at the back all the time. Some also dream of leading. But it’s okay fellow introverts, I got one tip for you. Push yourself to do that damn thing that's giving you anxiety. I sang in front of hundreds of people at the DST Carnival back in 2015 because of this reason. I thought I was going to collapse. Sometimes you have to push yourself to see what you’re capable of. Till this day, when I get the jitters, I tell myself… if I can sing in front of hundreds of people, I can definitely give one presentation in front of the Board. The more you push your boundaries, the more practice you get… and the anxiety will slowly lessen. That doesn't mean you should stop being you. Retreat whenever you need to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.


Love,


I'm an introvert, believe me.

Saturday, 26 January 2019


I always thought introversion was a disease until I stumbled upon a Ted Talk by Susan Cain about The Power of Introverts. That changed the way I saw myself and all the other introverts I’ve met and known. I’m currently reading her book called Quiet Power and it’s interesting how much it resonates with me. I’m an introvert despite what everyone thinks.



I know what you’re thinking. She’s a social media influencer (use word with caution) and of course she’s an extrovert. Wrong. Social Media is the platform where I am able to express myself through pictures. It’s where I am able to wander into the creative abyss and get inspired. I am able to express myself through the captions, through the garments… through comments and direct messages. I am able to be me… by hitting ‘post’.

I know you’re also thinking that I’m not so bad with communicating with people on a daily basis. I admit. I’m not awful at striking conversations and keeping the conversations going. But in that book, it talks about how while introverts can also have normal conversations, it drains them out faster than extroverts. Which basically means, after a lot of conversations, meeting new people, being in new environments and attending social events… I need to take a step back and be in my own world before I lose it. (Which is why I love being in my room in complete silence with my book or… just some alone time with Youtube and Netflix).

Some people don’t really understand this trait. They take it as being anti-social or sombong. But it really does wear me out sometimes. Don’t get me wrong… I do enjoy meeting new people and attending cool launches and fashion shows. I just need some quiet time after that to keep myself balanced.

I feel like introverts are especially misunderstood… at work… in school… basically anywhere you go they seem to only be rewarding the extroverts who are loud and brave and confident and outspoken. That leaves the introverts being scrutinized as being somewhat empty. People sometimes mistake quietness for having no ideas or questions or opinions. In fact… it’s the opposite. We have too many ideas, too many questions and too many opinions. We overthink everything. I don’t know about you, but I’m very calculative when it comes to formal discussions. I overthink every word that comes out of my mouth. Is my question stupid? Will my opinion offend others? Will my idea be good enough? Sometimes I admire the extroverts and how confident they can be. (Sometimes they can say the darnest things and still look smart).

I’m not against these extroverts. I often try to mingle with them just so I can learn how to be one. The book also mentions how when extroverts and introverts work together, magic can happen because they complement one another. Like Steve Jobs and Stephen Wozniak. Wozniak invented the first Apple computer and Steve Jobs’s charismatic behavior was able to drive it (yet when you think of Apple… you think of Jobs). My point exactly.

I get anxiety attacks every now and then. Not super hyperventilating attacks… but milder dull anxieties in the chest that just would not subside. Probably because I overthink some things but mainly because sometimes circumstances force you to be an extrovert. Like at work… my superior commented how I was being overshadowed by a colleague and I think as my performance bonus depends on it… the only way to stop that from happening is to be more visible. I am definitely up for the challenge… but again I don’t think people understand how much it exhausts me. My colleague is a natural when it comes to voicing out his opinions or being the first to talk. I have to have arguments with myself in my head first. But now I have to not be myself and flip a switch to be this other person. So to him, it would probably just require a glass of water to get his energy back. But to me… I kind of need breakfast, lunch and a nap.

Now you’re thinking, maybe I should just land a job where I’m in the backseat. You’re wrong again. Introverts don’t necessarily want to be at the back all the time. Some also dream of leading. But it’s okay fellow introverts, I got one tip for you. Push yourself to do that damn thing that's giving you anxiety. I sang in front of hundreds of people at the DST Carnival back in 2015 because of this reason. I thought I was going to collapse. Sometimes you have to push yourself to see what you’re capable of. Till this day, when I get the jitters, I tell myself… if I can sing in front of hundreds of people, I can definitely give one presentation in front of the Board. The more you push your boundaries, the more practice you get… and the anxiety will slowly lessen. That doesn't mean you should stop being you. Retreat whenever you need to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.


Love,


I finally have time to blog! Here's one about traveling with the little one that I get asked frequently about. I'm no pro at traveling with babies so feel free to share more tips in the comment section or drop me a DM... because I really want to know! From traveling to UK (Umair's first trip was a long haul flight and thankfully it was a breeze), to KL and Singapore and recently to Seoul (I love Seoul btw!), and taking into account my frequently asked questions on Instagram, this is what I've gathered:




ON THE FLIGHT



1. Pack their toys, snacks and books or have videos ready.
We had to download Pinkfong videos on Youtube for Umair. I'm trying to reduce his screen time so whenever we pull this card out, I feel like such a failure. Sigh. But anyway, when we flew to UK, all he did was drink, sleep, poop, sleep and repeat. Now, he loves running around, plays hide and seek with our seat neighbors and basically wants our unwavering attention. We take out our ammo one by one so it buys us time. So far it seems to work. We've also managed to distract him when we're busy eating, so that's good.


2. Prepare a bottle of milk or a pacifier for take-off and landing.
I know the pacifier is so controversial, but it really calms Umair down in ways I cannot explain. I do get worried about his teeth or his over-reliance but... sometimes I just let it go because he falls asleep as soon as we give it to him. So far, he hasn't been bothered by the air pressure... so I guess feeding him works.

A lot of people ask how we bring our milk formula and bottles onto the plane. I was worried about this too on our first flight but you can actually bring your hot water on-board so not to worry. They understand. We have each bottles pre-filled with room temp water too!


3. Pack socks and extra clothes.
For the baby AND YOURSELF. I remember arriving in London and realizing that it was me smelling like poop. Umair's poop had leaked onto my pants!! And when we were in Seoul, Umair had gotten carsick in the taxi and puked all over himself AND Hazim. I bring socks in case he gets cold on the plane. Probably not necessary for short-haul flights but I still have it packed anyway because even on 1 hour plane rides, my feet gets cold and that would increase trips to the bathroom........






UPON ARRIVAL



4. Food Preparation



6-12 months: Bring your food processor. We brought our trusty Beaba in its travel case. I know some prefer the rice cooker so whichever works. Once you land, you can quickly just drop by a supermarket to get your rice, fruits and vegetables for the whole trip. But if you have no time to do that, you could pack all that too for the x number of days you'll be away (I've done that once).



Above 12 months: Save some porridge/food from the hotel's breakfast in an insulated jar that will last you through lunch hahaha. I love hotel breakfast. Unfortunately, in Seoul we didn't want to pay BND70 per person for breakfast, so that was a bit tricky. We just ordered rice and something simple for Umair wherever we ended up eating. Hazim's the stricter one... no salt, no oil and fried food etc, so we made sure to avoid all that. 

But I suppose at the end of the day, what's important is that your child is fed. Umair has had yoghurt, dimsum, pancakes, omelettes (try eggs at home first please), etc when we're abroad. He LOVES going on holiday, I swear, because when we come back, it's back to eating bland food!




5. Pack your oils


Or whatever works for your baby. I brought these ones from Bellary Nature, a mini tube of Sudocream and a pot of Vicks BabyRub (some may contest but it works on Umair and especially after our trip to UK when he fell sick... I will do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening again!). I use it before we go out in the cold, when he's having a restless night, when he's motion-sick or coughing, etc.




6. Wash your baby bottles
We usually just have his washing liquid in a small travel-sized dispenser and bring a long a laptop-size container that's deep enough to soak his bottles in. I'm really not sure what's the most efficient way. If you have a better idea, let me know!



7. Get an easy stroller


This was the first thing I looked for when we were first looking for strollers. Obviously I wanted the super chic looking Stokke ones but let's be real here... I'm not going to be strolling Umair around in this heat--this isn't Hyde Park in September. My first condition was that it would fold into something I could carry easily and the Baby Zen Yoyo did just that. You fold it and throw it on your shoulders and get on with your day. You can also fit it in the overhead compartments on the plane but we chuck it in cargo now because that's one less thing to carry!



Some people prefer those toddler leashes/harnesses or a carrier because their babies don't like being strapped to a stroller (I don't get why they don't... you just have to sit down and someone pushes you to the next destination while you drink haha). Umair now prefers to walk about btw so we had to get a harness. I'm a paranoid mom and he cannot be more than a metre away from me!




Love,

Trip Tips: Baby Edition

Friday, 14 December 2018

I finally have time to blog! Here's one about traveling with the little one that I get asked frequently about. I'm no pro at traveling with babies so feel free to share more tips in the comment section or drop me a DM... because I really want to know! From traveling to UK (Umair's first trip was a long haul flight and thankfully it was a breeze), to KL and Singapore and recently to Seoul (I love Seoul btw!), and taking into account my frequently asked questions on Instagram, this is what I've gathered:




ON THE FLIGHT



1. Pack their toys, snacks and books or have videos ready.
We had to download Pinkfong videos on Youtube for Umair. I'm trying to reduce his screen time so whenever we pull this card out, I feel like such a failure. Sigh. But anyway, when we flew to UK, all he did was drink, sleep, poop, sleep and repeat. Now, he loves running around, plays hide and seek with our seat neighbors and basically wants our unwavering attention. We take out our ammo one by one so it buys us time. So far it seems to work. We've also managed to distract him when we're busy eating, so that's good.


2. Prepare a bottle of milk or a pacifier for take-off and landing.
I know the pacifier is so controversial, but it really calms Umair down in ways I cannot explain. I do get worried about his teeth or his over-reliance but... sometimes I just let it go because he falls asleep as soon as we give it to him. So far, he hasn't been bothered by the air pressure... so I guess feeding him works.

A lot of people ask how we bring our milk formula and bottles onto the plane. I was worried about this too on our first flight but you can actually bring your hot water on-board so not to worry. They understand. We have each bottles pre-filled with room temp water too!


3. Pack socks and extra clothes.
For the baby AND YOURSELF. I remember arriving in London and realizing that it was me smelling like poop. Umair's poop had leaked onto my pants!! And when we were in Seoul, Umair had gotten carsick in the taxi and puked all over himself AND Hazim. I bring socks in case he gets cold on the plane. Probably not necessary for short-haul flights but I still have it packed anyway because even on 1 hour plane rides, my feet gets cold and that would increase trips to the bathroom........






UPON ARRIVAL



4. Food Preparation



6-12 months: Bring your food processor. We brought our trusty Beaba in its travel case. I know some prefer the rice cooker so whichever works. Once you land, you can quickly just drop by a supermarket to get your rice, fruits and vegetables for the whole trip. But if you have no time to do that, you could pack all that too for the x number of days you'll be away (I've done that once).



Above 12 months: Save some porridge/food from the hotel's breakfast in an insulated jar that will last you through lunch hahaha. I love hotel breakfast. Unfortunately, in Seoul we didn't want to pay BND70 per person for breakfast, so that was a bit tricky. We just ordered rice and something simple for Umair wherever we ended up eating. Hazim's the stricter one... no salt, no oil and fried food etc, so we made sure to avoid all that. 

But I suppose at the end of the day, what's important is that your child is fed. Umair has had yoghurt, dimsum, pancakes, omelettes (try eggs at home first please), etc when we're abroad. He LOVES going on holiday, I swear, because when we come back, it's back to eating bland food!




5. Pack your oils


Or whatever works for your baby. I brought these ones from Bellary Nature, a mini tube of Sudocream and a pot of Vicks BabyRub (some may contest but it works on Umair and especially after our trip to UK when he fell sick... I will do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening again!). I use it before we go out in the cold, when he's having a restless night, when he's motion-sick or coughing, etc.




6. Wash your baby bottles
We usually just have his washing liquid in a small travel-sized dispenser and bring a long a laptop-size container that's deep enough to soak his bottles in. I'm really not sure what's the most efficient way. If you have a better idea, let me know!



7. Get an easy stroller


This was the first thing I looked for when we were first looking for strollers. Obviously I wanted the super chic looking Stokke ones but let's be real here... I'm not going to be strolling Umair around in this heat--this isn't Hyde Park in September. My first condition was that it would fold into something I could carry easily and the Baby Zen Yoyo did just that. You fold it and throw it on your shoulders and get on with your day. You can also fit it in the overhead compartments on the plane but we chuck it in cargo now because that's one less thing to carry!



Some people prefer those toddler leashes/harnesses or a carrier because their babies don't like being strapped to a stroller (I don't get why they don't... you just have to sit down and someone pushes you to the next destination while you drink haha). Umair now prefers to walk about btw so we had to get a harness. I'm a paranoid mom and he cannot be more than a metre away from me!




Love,

Other than wrinkles, dark pigmentation and back aches, there are two other signs of aging that you'll experience. 

1. Diminishing Returns of Materialism, and
2. Increased Propensity to Save.

My first Balenciaga


My recent big purchase was the Dior Saddle Bag and the strap that's paired with it in the Dior influencer campaigns. Now... don't get me wrong... I don't regret purchasing it but I did feel a tiny-sized bullet go through my chest as I was paying for them. There was something else I realized... I didn't feel as ecstatic as I did before. 

I remember my first few designer bags. I was into Balenciaga City Bags and I really wanted them... I may have even cried because I wanted them that much. I think they were one month's worth of student allowance back when I was an undergraduate in Nottingham.  When I graduated from my Masters, I ended up with a Gucci, a Prada, 2 Balenciagas, 6 Bond No. 9 perfumes, loads of shoes... and a whole lot of other luxury items that I was afraid to bring home to my mother. I mean, my parents would have to send me food from home and they'd lecture me every time they see something new. Pretty embarrassing--not proud of it.

Aftermath of Kurt Geiger going on sale - mine and my housemates

I remember being so ecstatic about those purchases I would have hugged them to sleep if I could. But now... I'm not as happy considering the amount I just swiped. I realize that every other new luxury item I purchase, it makes me more happy but the amount of marginal happiness is depreciating. 

What's increasing is my addiction to park money for the future. I get excited about saving now and watching your savings grow makes you even more motivated to save. I can give you savings tips--maybe next time. Wow, I feel so adult. I never thought I would get here, but here I am. I think twice before swiping my credit card. I got my insurances and retirement plans set (scarily, it still isn't enough for me to maintain my current lifestyle when I retire). I've parked a little in investments and my car loan is paid off. 

I do wonder if I'll ever feel that level of euphoria again. I think the last time I really loved a luxury purchase was in 2014 and it was a pair of Louboutins. But this is good! I will remind myself every time I want a new bag whether it'll make me crazy happy or just mediocre happy. If it's the latter, it's definitely not worth it. 





I do still splurge on myself from time to time. I am a girl after all and a professional shopaholic. Once in a while, I get myself an expensive dress or spend a bit too much on skincare (another sign of aging btw is when you choose skincare over makeup) but now I can feel that I have more control over my impulses. If I don't need it or if there's a cheaper option, out my cart it goes. 




Love,

Diminishing Returns of Materialism

Saturday, 3 November 2018

Other than wrinkles, dark pigmentation and back aches, there are two other signs of aging that you'll experience. 

1. Diminishing Returns of Materialism, and
2. Increased Propensity to Save.

My first Balenciaga


My recent big purchase was the Dior Saddle Bag and the strap that's paired with it in the Dior influencer campaigns. Now... don't get me wrong... I don't regret purchasing it but I did feel a tiny-sized bullet go through my chest as I was paying for them. There was something else I realized... I didn't feel as ecstatic as I did before. 

I remember my first few designer bags. I was into Balenciaga City Bags and I really wanted them... I may have even cried because I wanted them that much. I think they were one month's worth of student allowance back when I was an undergraduate in Nottingham.  When I graduated from my Masters, I ended up with a Gucci, a Prada, 2 Balenciagas, 6 Bond No. 9 perfumes, loads of shoes... and a whole lot of other luxury items that I was afraid to bring home to my mother. I mean, my parents would have to send me food from home and they'd lecture me every time they see something new. Pretty embarrassing--not proud of it.

Aftermath of Kurt Geiger going on sale - mine and my housemates

I remember being so ecstatic about those purchases I would have hugged them to sleep if I could. But now... I'm not as happy considering the amount I just swiped. I realize that every other new luxury item I purchase, it makes me more happy but the amount of marginal happiness is depreciating. 

What's increasing is my addiction to park money for the future. I get excited about saving now and watching your savings grow makes you even more motivated to save. I can give you savings tips--maybe next time. Wow, I feel so adult. I never thought I would get here, but here I am. I think twice before swiping my credit card. I got my insurances and retirement plans set (scarily, it still isn't enough for me to maintain my current lifestyle when I retire). I've parked a little in investments and my car loan is paid off. 

I do wonder if I'll ever feel that level of euphoria again. I think the last time I really loved a luxury purchase was in 2014 and it was a pair of Louboutins. But this is good! I will remind myself every time I want a new bag whether it'll make me crazy happy or just mediocre happy. If it's the latter, it's definitely not worth it. 





I do still splurge on myself from time to time. I am a girl after all and a professional shopaholic. Once in a while, I get myself an expensive dress or spend a bit too much on skincare (another sign of aging btw is when you choose skincare over makeup) but now I can feel that I have more control over my impulses. If I don't need it or if there's a cheaper option, out my cart it goes. 




Love,

I'm in the middle of Season 10 of Grey's Anatomy now. I know... I'm kind of late to the game and never really understood the craze but I'm definitely on board now. Anyway, I just passed the episodes where Meredith was feeling like she had to prove that she was a good surgeon despite being a mom. Sometimes it's really odd when things around you mirror your exact feelings be it a song or a movie or in this case... a popular medical series.



Ever since I had my son, I've felt the need to prove to people at work that I can do my job well despite having to go to doctor's appointments during office hours and what not. This on top of feeling like I have to prove that I'm not a bimbo airhead who's into fashion and beauty only. I've cried myself to sleep, had anxiety attacks and felt a little down... all because I feel like I'm not up to a certain standard or on par with people who can work after hours and read emails at 9PM (in a work environment that I feel penalizes those who don't btw). I've dialed down my social media presence enough so I can give in extra hours to do work but not enough for brands to stop working with me. 


You want to know what's more ridiculous? My work guilt is sometimes bigger than my mom guilt... which in turn makes me feel more guilty because I feel like such a horrible mom! When my team stays late til 7PM... I feel more guilty leaving them than I do not spending time with my baby... MY BABY?! My baby who's growing up too fast and sooner or later will not want to spend time with me. What is the matter with me?

The feminist in me also refuses to back down at the office because for years people fought for our rights and we're now able to go to work and earn money for ourselves. I loathe every time I hear someone make 'maternity leave' as an excuse. Like... oh we need more men in the workforce because women go on maternity leave for three months. I'm going to leave it at that now because that's a topic all on it's own. But anyway working moms, I want you to know that you are not alone. The point of this post is to let you know that we're all in this together.

I still go through these phases... but I haven't given up at work. I do everything I can and as much as I can when I'm on my desk. But I try really hard to allocate my time after hours (6.30PM max at the office) and during weekends for my family. I don't do work when I'm at home or when I'm on leave. I don't beat myself up every time I feel I'm a bit behind because of it. I get up... and catch up and move on. I just needed to stop doing that to myself. 

There's that quote... I forget. But it was about... setting your priorities straight. It was about... giving people the time they deserved. It was about... putting time and effort with your family. The quote was about choosing between your career and the people you love. It reminded me that while your job can replace you in a second, your son looks at you like you're the best thing on the planet and you're irreplaceable.

As much as we want to give 100% to both motherhood and our careers... we only have 100% to give. I still have my daily battles but I think I'm winning. I just need to make sure I still perform at work, I'm on top of things, I'm able to solve problems... and if it seems like my colleagues are better than me because they can give their full 100% at their job and do work til 11PM... I'm not going to feel like I'm inadequate. I'm not going to blame motherhood or myself. I may cry... But I'll still kick ass the next day.

Tell me I'm not alone.


Love,


Good Mom vs Good Career

Saturday, 27 October 2018

I'm in the middle of Season 10 of Grey's Anatomy now. I know... I'm kind of late to the game and never really understood the craze but I'm definitely on board now. Anyway, I just passed the episodes where Meredith was feeling like she had to prove that she was a good surgeon despite being a mom. Sometimes it's really odd when things around you mirror your exact feelings be it a song or a movie or in this case... a popular medical series.



Ever since I had my son, I've felt the need to prove to people at work that I can do my job well despite having to go to doctor's appointments during office hours and what not. This on top of feeling like I have to prove that I'm not a bimbo airhead who's into fashion and beauty only. I've cried myself to sleep, had anxiety attacks and felt a little down... all because I feel like I'm not up to a certain standard or on par with people who can work after hours and read emails at 9PM (in a work environment that I feel penalizes those who don't btw). I've dialed down my social media presence enough so I can give in extra hours to do work but not enough for brands to stop working with me. 


You want to know what's more ridiculous? My work guilt is sometimes bigger than my mom guilt... which in turn makes me feel more guilty because I feel like such a horrible mom! When my team stays late til 7PM... I feel more guilty leaving them than I do not spending time with my baby... MY BABY?! My baby who's growing up too fast and sooner or later will not want to spend time with me. What is the matter with me?

The feminist in me also refuses to back down at the office because for years people fought for our rights and we're now able to go to work and earn money for ourselves. I loathe every time I hear someone make 'maternity leave' as an excuse. Like... oh we need more men in the workforce because women go on maternity leave for three months. I'm going to leave it at that now because that's a topic all on it's own. But anyway working moms, I want you to know that you are not alone. The point of this post is to let you know that we're all in this together.

I still go through these phases... but I haven't given up at work. I do everything I can and as much as I can when I'm on my desk. But I try really hard to allocate my time after hours (6.30PM max at the office) and during weekends for my family. I don't do work when I'm at home or when I'm on leave. I don't beat myself up every time I feel I'm a bit behind because of it. I get up... and catch up and move on. I just needed to stop doing that to myself. 

There's that quote... I forget. But it was about... setting your priorities straight. It was about... giving people the time they deserved. It was about... putting time and effort with your family. The quote was about choosing between your career and the people you love. It reminded me that while your job can replace you in a second, your son looks at you like you're the best thing on the planet and you're irreplaceable.

As much as we want to give 100% to both motherhood and our careers... we only have 100% to give. I still have my daily battles but I think I'm winning. I just need to make sure I still perform at work, I'm on top of things, I'm able to solve problems... and if it seems like my colleagues are better than me because they can give their full 100% at their job and do work til 11PM... I'm not going to feel like I'm inadequate. I'm not going to blame motherhood or myself. I may cry... But I'll still kick ass the next day.

Tell me I'm not alone.


Love,


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