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Happy 2018, LMN readers! I knew I wanted my first post to be a reflection of the previous year. Looking back over the past 12 months, it certainly has been an eventful one and I came out stronger, more patient (relatively speaking... I'm still as impatient as a full-bladder in a long queue to the bathroom) and unafraid. Here's what 2017 taught me:





1. Trust His timing.
I know my baby boy came at the right time. I always questioned why we were going through what we went through but I know now... that we should always just be patient. He knows when is the best time to answer our prayers. It will not come any sooner or any later. In the four years we shared pre-Umair, we had amazing holidays, did fun things together and had each other's undivided attention everyday. There were highs and lows... and we went through all that together, just us two. I wouldn't change it for the world and I'll always cherish those four years when we were just Hazim and Nabeela.

2. Time heals all things.
A broken heart. A severed relationship. A torn friendship. A betrayal. As much as we force ourselves to be okay and however painful it was... we just have to ride it out and sooner or later, the wound will heal over time. You won't be the same person--no. But you will be set free from anger and resentment. You will be stronger. And then you will look back and wonder why you thought you would never get out of this rut in the first place.

3. Self-love and self-respect.
Knowing your own value and worth is important. I've had a few instances where people hurt me or tried to bring me down or I felt that I wasn't being respected. I used to just pretend that I was okay with everything but I think after 27 years, it was time for me to learn how to walk away from people who didn't deserve my time, to speak my mind even if my voice shakes, to ignore the unpleasant comments and to surround myself with positive people who make me laugh. 

4. Ask Instagram anything.
I love asking questions on IG because people are so helpful! The response to breastfeeding tips and motherhood really helped me a lot! Also, when I wrote Maktub, so many people reached out to me and gave advice and sweet messages that lifted my spirits up. That's not all! After Umair came into our lives, I've spoken to so many adoptive parents and couples who wish to adopt. We share experiences and give each other support... I don't think I would have had those special conversations without this platform.

5.  Be kinder than what you feel.
I don't know if it's age but my short temper has been shorter this year. There were a couple of times I reacted instantly and said things I regretted the moment the words left my mouth. Although I meant what I said, I wish I had relayed the same message in a kinder and calmer tone. 

All in all, I am very grateful for 2017. I've had wonderful opportunities from being a mom to being a judge at AARRDS 2017 and to being featured (okay... one sentence) on an article on CNN. Alhamdulillah.

Here's to another year of learning and reinventing myself to become the person I was meant to be! So... what did 2017 teach you?


Love,

What 2017 Taught Me

Thursday, 4 January 2018

Happy 2018, LMN readers! I knew I wanted my first post to be a reflection of the previous year. Looking back over the past 12 months, it certainly has been an eventful one and I came out stronger, more patient (relatively speaking... I'm still as impatient as a full-bladder in a long queue to the bathroom) and unafraid. Here's what 2017 taught me:





1. Trust His timing.
I know my baby boy came at the right time. I always questioned why we were going through what we went through but I know now... that we should always just be patient. He knows when is the best time to answer our prayers. It will not come any sooner or any later. In the four years we shared pre-Umair, we had amazing holidays, did fun things together and had each other's undivided attention everyday. There were highs and lows... and we went through all that together, just us two. I wouldn't change it for the world and I'll always cherish those four years when we were just Hazim and Nabeela.

2. Time heals all things.
A broken heart. A severed relationship. A torn friendship. A betrayal. As much as we force ourselves to be okay and however painful it was... we just have to ride it out and sooner or later, the wound will heal over time. You won't be the same person--no. But you will be set free from anger and resentment. You will be stronger. And then you will look back and wonder why you thought you would never get out of this rut in the first place.

3. Self-love and self-respect.
Knowing your own value and worth is important. I've had a few instances where people hurt me or tried to bring me down or I felt that I wasn't being respected. I used to just pretend that I was okay with everything but I think after 27 years, it was time for me to learn how to walk away from people who didn't deserve my time, to speak my mind even if my voice shakes, to ignore the unpleasant comments and to surround myself with positive people who make me laugh. 

4. Ask Instagram anything.
I love asking questions on IG because people are so helpful! The response to breastfeeding tips and motherhood really helped me a lot! Also, when I wrote Maktub, so many people reached out to me and gave advice and sweet messages that lifted my spirits up. That's not all! After Umair came into our lives, I've spoken to so many adoptive parents and couples who wish to adopt. We share experiences and give each other support... I don't think I would have had those special conversations without this platform.

5.  Be kinder than what you feel.
I don't know if it's age but my short temper has been shorter this year. There were a couple of times I reacted instantly and said things I regretted the moment the words left my mouth. Although I meant what I said, I wish I had relayed the same message in a kinder and calmer tone. 

All in all, I am very grateful for 2017. I've had wonderful opportunities from being a mom to being a judge at AARRDS 2017 and to being featured (okay... one sentence) on an article on CNN. Alhamdulillah.

Here's to another year of learning and reinventing myself to become the person I was meant to be! So... what did 2017 teach you?


Love,


I've been a huge iPhone fan since the first release back in 2007. I had the first iPhone, 4S, 6 Plus and I now own the 8 Plus (we'll get to that in a minute). I'm sure there are other cool phones in the market but after years of being so accustomed to the system, there's just no turning back. This morning I played around with the iPhone X at the iPhone X Launch Lounge and got pretty annoyed because I wanted to hate it. Unfortunately, it's a pretty cool gadget that I wish I had waited for!

Last week, I asked my followers which iPhone I should get and the clear winner was the X... by a mile. You'll know why I bought the 8 Plus in a minute but first let's talk about the contract plans!
So if you're already on the Prima plan, these deals seem really great! HOWEVER, there's a catch--the data! I'm already on the 7GB BND55 monthly plan and the downgrade to 5GB would be expensive for me in the long run because even 7GB sometimes isn't enough for me! My mother, on the other hand, is still on the 5GB BND55 plan so she would definitely enjoy the iPhone X at BND1,446! I could get an upgrade to the 9GB BND85 plan but I'd rather limit myself to BND55 a month and probably purchase the 3GB/7GB top up to spread over two months, ya know?


That being said, let me tell you why I gushed over the new generation iPhone!

1. The crystal clear display of the iPhone X seems... almost fake and I say this in awe! It's just too clear to be true!

iPhone X vs iPhone 8 Plus

2. Let's be real--the new look is pretty sexy. My iPhone 8 Plus just looks like my old 6 Plus but with a much better camera and a cooler back.


3. Portrait mode for selfies--not available on the 8 Plus.

4. Animoji... I feel like if this becomes the next big thing I'm going to experience chronic FOMO. But will it become a thing?



The iPhone X also has the Face ID which I tried and thought was pretty cool but it isn't a selling point for me. I'm pretty content with Touch ID but I also cannot imagine all the greater things that will come with that kind of technology. And although the 8 Plus has the dual camera, I read that the iPhone X has a slight edge which you can read here and here.

Despite all the gushing, I had to let this one go because buying the phone itself  without the contract plan would have costed me around BND2k. If you're able to get it overseas, it's much cheaper but sadly, my 6 Plus decided to break down on me and I needed a phone pronto!

1st iPhone Customer: Ricky Chua
Not going to lie... I felt really jealous of all the people who managed to get their X's today. They queued up from 6.30AM anddd the lovely DST management (including CEO, Mr. Suhaimi Hussain) cheered and celebrated each customer. I expect stores to celebrate like that every time I shop now. FV. Zara. Yatta. Cult Beauty. Shell station. Yep! I want the whole she-bang every time I spend cash somewhere haha! First 50 customers were also given DST vouchers worth BND100 together with iTunes gift cards worth USD15. How lucky!  

Hello Ma. You want to buy an iPhone X and swap it with my 8 Plus? (She said no)
After shaking off my sadness, I feel pretty good about my 8 Plus. I am loving the size, the camera is still pretty neat and I spent BND400 less than if I were to get an X. (Also, Hazim's X will arrive soon and I'll have another chance to negotiate a swap?)

All-in-all, I really enjoyed this morning. Had some Little Gourmet, Gong Cha, Magnum and Coffee Bean, and really loved seeing all the happy faces from their purchases. I TOTALLY GET THAT FEELING, PEOPLE. Also, a big thank you to DST. You always know how to have a good time!


Love,


DST iPhone X Launch

Monday, 4 December 2017


I've been a huge iPhone fan since the first release back in 2007. I had the first iPhone, 4S, 6 Plus and I now own the 8 Plus (we'll get to that in a minute). I'm sure there are other cool phones in the market but after years of being so accustomed to the system, there's just no turning back. This morning I played around with the iPhone X at the iPhone X Launch Lounge and got pretty annoyed because I wanted to hate it. Unfortunately, it's a pretty cool gadget that I wish I had waited for!

Last week, I asked my followers which iPhone I should get and the clear winner was the X... by a mile. You'll know why I bought the 8 Plus in a minute but first let's talk about the contract plans!
So if you're already on the Prima plan, these deals seem really great! HOWEVER, there's a catch--the data! I'm already on the 7GB BND55 monthly plan and the downgrade to 5GB would be expensive for me in the long run because even 7GB sometimes isn't enough for me! My mother, on the other hand, is still on the 5GB BND55 plan so she would definitely enjoy the iPhone X at BND1,446! I could get an upgrade to the 9GB BND85 plan but I'd rather limit myself to BND55 a month and probably purchase the 3GB/7GB top up to spread over two months, ya know?


That being said, let me tell you why I gushed over the new generation iPhone!

1. The crystal clear display of the iPhone X seems... almost fake and I say this in awe! It's just too clear to be true!

iPhone X vs iPhone 8 Plus

2. Let's be real--the new look is pretty sexy. My iPhone 8 Plus just looks like my old 6 Plus but with a much better camera and a cooler back.


3. Portrait mode for selfies--not available on the 8 Plus.

4. Animoji... I feel like if this becomes the next big thing I'm going to experience chronic FOMO. But will it become a thing?



The iPhone X also has the Face ID which I tried and thought was pretty cool but it isn't a selling point for me. I'm pretty content with Touch ID but I also cannot imagine all the greater things that will come with that kind of technology. And although the 8 Plus has the dual camera, I read that the iPhone X has a slight edge which you can read here and here.

Despite all the gushing, I had to let this one go because buying the phone itself  without the contract plan would have costed me around BND2k. If you're able to get it overseas, it's much cheaper but sadly, my 6 Plus decided to break down on me and I needed a phone pronto!

1st iPhone Customer: Ricky Chua
Not going to lie... I felt really jealous of all the people who managed to get their X's today. They queued up from 6.30AM anddd the lovely DST management (including CEO, Mr. Suhaimi Hussain) cheered and celebrated each customer. I expect stores to celebrate like that every time I shop now. FV. Zara. Yatta. Cult Beauty. Shell station. Yep! I want the whole she-bang every time I spend cash somewhere haha! First 50 customers were also given DST vouchers worth BND100 together with iTunes gift cards worth USD15. How lucky!  

Hello Ma. You want to buy an iPhone X and swap it with my 8 Plus? (She said no)
After shaking off my sadness, I feel pretty good about my 8 Plus. I am loving the size, the camera is still pretty neat and I spent BND400 less than if I were to get an X. (Also, Hazim's X will arrive soon and I'll have another chance to negotiate a swap?)

All-in-all, I really enjoyed this morning. Had some Little Gourmet, Gong Cha, Magnum and Coffee Bean, and really loved seeing all the happy faces from their purchases. I TOTALLY GET THAT FEELING, PEOPLE. Also, a big thank you to DST. You always know how to have a good time!


Love,


Where do I even begin?

We were outside the labour room (im)patiently waiting to be called. Excited. Scared. Unprepared. Elated. Could this really be our time? We received the call on the way to work one Tuesday morning. Hazim and I looked at each other and we didn't have to say anything. He knew I was excited, the same way I knew he was. It was quite a bit of a wait... but around 3PM... I was called in. Our son was born and I was about to meet him. The walk was a blur but I remember trembling. I couldn't put on my shoe covers because my hands were shaking. I remember the receptionist acknowledging it with pitiful endearment. She was nice. 



I was getting closer and closer to the room. When the receptionist showed me in... I saw him. Red. Wrinkly. Wrapped up in a blue towel. Breathtakingly gorgeous. First thing I did was take his photo and send it to Hazim because I wanted to share that moment with him not a second later. He teared up outside and had to wait another hour to meet him. I stayed inside... staring into this beautiful angel that was sent to us in an unconventional way. I smiled. Because strangely... he looked so much like Hazim. How incredibly amazing was that? "Mommy's here now..." I said with tears in my eyes. The same moment birthmom started a conversation with me. So I quickly dried up my eyes and checked up on her. (She's a wonderful person... but I think that story is a conversation I need to have with Umair first so I won't be sharing it for the time being.) 

I don't think I've believed in the statement 'God has a reason for everything' as much as I do now. For all those times we were heartbroken--Umair was the answer to everything and he is definitely worth the wait. A lot of people have said that Umair was lucky to have us when the truth is... we are the lucky ones. God had gifted us our beautiful son and nothing... nothing can ever compare with this greatest blessing.

I stayed by Umair's side from Day 1. Two days sleeping on the couch at the hospital is something. Two days of not showering is another. I held him until my arm wanted to fall off but even then I didn't want to put him down. I was so in love. I am still in love and I cannot imagine a day where I won't be. Sometimes I just catch myself staring at him with tears in my eyes. He has brought us so much joy and happiness that nothing else in this world seems to matter. 

40 days later, he's now 5kgs and we have enjoyed every single second of parenthood. I've managed to lactate soon after he was born after being on pills three weeks before that. I've fed him three times with my own breastmilk already (I'm only able to pump 1-2 oz a day but I am still very grateful for it), Alhamdulillah, and I'm (calmingly) trying to get my supply up. Thank you to those who have shared tips and advice! He's peed and pooped many times on us. He makes the most adorable coo-ing sound when he loses a sneeze. He loves being held and gets hungry every 2 hours. His smile is the most beautiful thing we've ever seen. 

I used to think I wouldn't be a good mom. I was never a fan of children and I know that I can be very selfish. I loved my world--one where I only had to think about me. But 40 days of being a mom have taught me that... I absolutely love being one and it wouldn't be my world without Umair in it. It made me realise that I was able to put someone else's needs before mine. It made me realise that I was stronger than I thought I was... mentally and physically (my arms don't feel like falling off anymore). It made me realise the love I have around me. I never knew I could love anyone this much. I'm learning more about myself as I do about him and his daddy (Hazim is a wonderful dad and more) every day. It's been 40 days. We cannot wait for more. 


Love,



40 Days A Mom

Sunday, 5 November 2017

Where do I even begin?

We were outside the labour room (im)patiently waiting to be called. Excited. Scared. Unprepared. Elated. Could this really be our time? We received the call on the way to work one Tuesday morning. Hazim and I looked at each other and we didn't have to say anything. He knew I was excited, the same way I knew he was. It was quite a bit of a wait... but around 3PM... I was called in. Our son was born and I was about to meet him. The walk was a blur but I remember trembling. I couldn't put on my shoe covers because my hands were shaking. I remember the receptionist acknowledging it with pitiful endearment. She was nice. 



I was getting closer and closer to the room. When the receptionist showed me in... I saw him. Red. Wrinkly. Wrapped up in a blue towel. Breathtakingly gorgeous. First thing I did was take his photo and send it to Hazim because I wanted to share that moment with him not a second later. He teared up outside and had to wait another hour to meet him. I stayed inside... staring into this beautiful angel that was sent to us in an unconventional way. I smiled. Because strangely... he looked so much like Hazim. How incredibly amazing was that? "Mommy's here now..." I said with tears in my eyes. The same moment birthmom started a conversation with me. So I quickly dried up my eyes and checked up on her. (She's a wonderful person... but I think that story is a conversation I need to have with Umair first so I won't be sharing it for the time being.) 

I don't think I've believed in the statement 'God has a reason for everything' as much as I do now. For all those times we were heartbroken--Umair was the answer to everything and he is definitely worth the wait. A lot of people have said that Umair was lucky to have us when the truth is... we are the lucky ones. God had gifted us our beautiful son and nothing... nothing can ever compare with this greatest blessing.

I stayed by Umair's side from Day 1. Two days sleeping on the couch at the hospital is something. Two days of not showering is another. I held him until my arm wanted to fall off but even then I didn't want to put him down. I was so in love. I am still in love and I cannot imagine a day where I won't be. Sometimes I just catch myself staring at him with tears in my eyes. He has brought us so much joy and happiness that nothing else in this world seems to matter. 

40 days later, he's now 5kgs and we have enjoyed every single second of parenthood. I've managed to lactate soon after he was born after being on pills three weeks before that. I've fed him three times with my own breastmilk already (I'm only able to pump 1-2 oz a day but I am still very grateful for it), Alhamdulillah, and I'm (calmingly) trying to get my supply up. Thank you to those who have shared tips and advice! He's peed and pooped many times on us. He makes the most adorable coo-ing sound when he loses a sneeze. He loves being held and gets hungry every 2 hours. His smile is the most beautiful thing we've ever seen. 

I used to think I wouldn't be a good mom. I was never a fan of children and I know that I can be very selfish. I loved my world--one where I only had to think about me. But 40 days of being a mom have taught me that... I absolutely love being one and it wouldn't be my world without Umair in it. It made me realise that I was able to put someone else's needs before mine. It made me realise that I was stronger than I thought I was... mentally and physically (my arms don't feel like falling off anymore). It made me realise the love I have around me. I never knew I could love anyone this much. I'm learning more about myself as I do about him and his daddy (Hazim is a wonderful dad and more) every day. It's been 40 days. We cannot wait for more. 


Love,



What I look forward to the most during fashion week season is the street style more than the runway shows. The way the fashion week goers style their outfits are more inspiring, to me at least, probably because it's more wearable. Sometimes runway presentations try to be so different that their layering game looks like their closet exploded and landed on their bodies. And I feel like I'm at an art museum staring into paintings trying to understand what is going on. That being said I did enjoy Celine, Tibi, Chanel and Louis Vuitton! What were your favourite shows?

Back to trends... 

1. Sock Boots



The buzz has been going around red sock boots but I've seen them in other bold colours like yellow and fuchsia! I've been wanting to try them but A. Brunei's hot. B. Brunei's hot. C. Brunei's hot. D. I might end up looking like Ted (see photo below). It's not practical to be wearing these in our climate and there aren't any events to attend anyway (not that I can attend one any time soon)! But aren't they so beautiful though? However, I made a naughty purchase... bought myself a pair of metallic ankle boots because I was telling my brain that it could help cover my ankles...... right? No? 






2. Cat Eye Sunnies

Everyone's been wearing the Last Lolita from Le Specs and I'm trying to look away. I don't need another pair of sunnies that you can only wear for a season. Back to buying classics only! I... hope. I... think. Be strong, my heart. 

Nicole Andersson is seen killin' it below with her Checked outfit, Le Specs sunnies, Sock Boots and Belt Bag (available here).



3. Belt Bags

The GG Marmont Belt Bags are TDF! But why are they so expensive for something that can only carry my phone? I'm hoping this trend will die asap so it can stop tempting me. I mean... USD1k? Come on, now. I'll just adore it from afar. Plus, the highstreet fast fashion brands are quick to come out with their own versions of belt bags.


4. Gucci Belt

This is the slightly wider one. I got my eyes on the 2cm one. Do I need it? No. Will it go out of style soon? Maybe a little slower than the fanny packs. Worth spending USD200? Y....ess mayyybe? Anybody want to buy me a push present?



5. Dior Shoes

My heart aches for these! Mainly because it reminds me of these pair of shoes from The Row that I could never get my hands on. The logo makes it current but the ribbon makes it classic. J'adore!



Love,


Current Obsessions: Street Style

Sunday, 15 October 2017

What I look forward to the most during fashion week season is the street style more than the runway shows. The way the fashion week goers style their outfits are more inspiring, to me at least, probably because it's more wearable. Sometimes runway presentations try to be so different that their layering game looks like their closet exploded and landed on their bodies. And I feel like I'm at an art museum staring into paintings trying to understand what is going on. That being said I did enjoy Celine, Tibi, Chanel and Louis Vuitton! What were your favourite shows?

Back to trends... 

1. Sock Boots



The buzz has been going around red sock boots but I've seen them in other bold colours like yellow and fuchsia! I've been wanting to try them but A. Brunei's hot. B. Brunei's hot. C. Brunei's hot. D. I might end up looking like Ted (see photo below). It's not practical to be wearing these in our climate and there aren't any events to attend anyway (not that I can attend one any time soon)! But aren't they so beautiful though? However, I made a naughty purchase... bought myself a pair of metallic ankle boots because I was telling my brain that it could help cover my ankles...... right? No? 






2. Cat Eye Sunnies

Everyone's been wearing the Last Lolita from Le Specs and I'm trying to look away. I don't need another pair of sunnies that you can only wear for a season. Back to buying classics only! I... hope. I... think. Be strong, my heart. 

Nicole Andersson is seen killin' it below with her Checked outfit, Le Specs sunnies, Sock Boots and Belt Bag (available here).



3. Belt Bags

The GG Marmont Belt Bags are TDF! But why are they so expensive for something that can only carry my phone? I'm hoping this trend will die asap so it can stop tempting me. I mean... USD1k? Come on, now. I'll just adore it from afar. Plus, the highstreet fast fashion brands are quick to come out with their own versions of belt bags.


4. Gucci Belt

This is the slightly wider one. I got my eyes on the 2cm one. Do I need it? No. Will it go out of style soon? Maybe a little slower than the fanny packs. Worth spending USD200? Y....ess mayyybe? Anybody want to buy me a push present?



5. Dior Shoes

My heart aches for these! Mainly because it reminds me of these pair of shoes from The Row that I could never get my hands on. The logo makes it current but the ribbon makes it classic. J'adore!



Love,


A few people have asked me how I manage both my day job and LMN. From Monday to Friday, I wear the baju kurung--our formal work attire--in low heels and (sometimes) completely bare-faced in front of the laptop, scribbling notes, attending meetings and preparing presentations. Saturday and Sunday, my dresscode's a little different. 



How do I juggle between both worlds?
When people ask me this, I'm usually baffled by the word 'juggle'. I mean it isn't wrong... but to me the word itself implies there's a certain imbalance and instability--like any moment now, these two worlds will slip out of my hands if I make the wrong move. Although, there is some truth to that, in my head it's more like a switch button. It's about knowing when to switch on and off, it's about prioritising and being organised.

Now... how do I actually manage between the two?
I love both worlds. Alhamdulillah, where I'm working now is where I've always imagined myself to be. I love working for my country; it is such a great honour. It's what I studied for. It's what I had always dreamt of doing. It's what I owe. So when it's time to do work, it's time to do work. And not just half-arsed work.

During the week, I also organise what I want to post. So say I have two posts to do on a weekend and I have to come in to the office on a Saturday, I'll take the photo on Friday after work and post it the next day. I also usually take a few shots of an outfit for days when I can't take a photo just to keep the momentum going. So... Switching on and off, prioritising and organising.

Do I get stressed out?
I only get stressed out when I think I'm not doing good enough. I'm always worried that people would judge me for doing what I do (I'm sure, some do, hello to you... what are you doing here?) or even question whether I'm good at my job. It's contradicting, right? It's like Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming a Senate. Can you really take him seriously if he's also the Terminator? But like... why can you only do one thing? And why can't I like both my job and wearing nice clothes?

Because of that fear, I make sure I always give 110% during the week. Sometimes, I think it's a little unhealthy because the second I make the smallest mistake, I beat myself up for it and it just affects my productivity a little bit because my mind just chooses to fixate on that one tiny mistake that I can't seem to forgive myself for. Yeah... I need to chill. I've been better, though. Princess Elsa taught me to let it go.

I also get a little pressured when the photo I'm posting is a collaboration. After all, it should be a win-win situation, especially if it's a paid partnership. It is your duty as a blogger to direct your followers their way (said blogger must also believe in the product being advertised or gives their honest opinion). Even if the agreement is for one post, if I feel I didn't do good enough for the brand, I'd try to deliver another post for them.




What are the challenges?
I just mentioned 'honest opinion'. Sometimes I feel like people think I'm not honest. Do people think that being honest means to bash someone's product publicly? No. That's not my jam. If it's not meant for me, I'll say it nicely but you'll have to read between the lines. Plus, if I'm crazy about something, you'll know because I'm probably always wearing it. I'm not going to bash someone's clothes just because I don't like it on me. I don't like instant headscarves on me, but it looks good on millions of other girls. So? 

Another challenge is probably also where I'm based. There are more events and collaborations happening abroad. But I'm not moving anytime soon so it's something that'll I'll just have to overcome.

Defining my style is also a challenge. I try to move away from being associated with Muslimah Fashion because being in that group comes with great responsibility (and public judgement), which I am still far from. I'm not perfect. Sometimes my trousers are not long enough and my ankles show (And sometimes my feet are black. heh I've had an internet troll comment on my dark-coloured feet once). 

Do I ever feel like quitting?
HAHAHA. Well... we all have that dream of saving up and investing so we can retire early. But not until I feel like I've made some sort of impact. (SUCH A MILLENIAL THING TO SAY!) Do I want to quit to pursue blogging full-time? Honestly, in other countries, it could be a sustainable profession like Song of Style. But not here. Not yet. You'll have to cross many borders and be very huge to be able to sustain yourself. It's not impossible. It's a lot of hard work. And money.


Love,


My Alter Ego Story

Friday, 6 October 2017

A few people have asked me how I manage both my day job and LMN. From Monday to Friday, I wear the baju kurung--our formal work attire--in low heels and (sometimes) completely bare-faced in front of the laptop, scribbling notes, attending meetings and preparing presentations. Saturday and Sunday, my dresscode's a little different. 



How do I juggle between both worlds?
When people ask me this, I'm usually baffled by the word 'juggle'. I mean it isn't wrong... but to me the word itself implies there's a certain imbalance and instability--like any moment now, these two worlds will slip out of my hands if I make the wrong move. Although, there is some truth to that, in my head it's more like a switch button. It's about knowing when to switch on and off, it's about prioritising and being organised.

Now... how do I actually manage between the two?
I love both worlds. Alhamdulillah, where I'm working now is where I've always imagined myself to be. I love working for my country; it is such a great honour. It's what I studied for. It's what I had always dreamt of doing. It's what I owe. So when it's time to do work, it's time to do work. And not just half-arsed work.

During the week, I also organise what I want to post. So say I have two posts to do on a weekend and I have to come in to the office on a Saturday, I'll take the photo on Friday after work and post it the next day. I also usually take a few shots of an outfit for days when I can't take a photo just to keep the momentum going. So... Switching on and off, prioritising and organising.

Do I get stressed out?
I only get stressed out when I think I'm not doing good enough. I'm always worried that people would judge me for doing what I do (I'm sure, some do, hello to you... what are you doing here?) or even question whether I'm good at my job. It's contradicting, right? It's like Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming a Senate. Can you really take him seriously if he's also the Terminator? But like... why can you only do one thing? And why can't I like both my job and wearing nice clothes?

Because of that fear, I make sure I always give 110% during the week. Sometimes, I think it's a little unhealthy because the second I make the smallest mistake, I beat myself up for it and it just affects my productivity a little bit because my mind just chooses to fixate on that one tiny mistake that I can't seem to forgive myself for. Yeah... I need to chill. I've been better, though. Princess Elsa taught me to let it go.

I also get a little pressured when the photo I'm posting is a collaboration. After all, it should be a win-win situation, especially if it's a paid partnership. It is your duty as a blogger to direct your followers their way (said blogger must also believe in the product being advertised or gives their honest opinion). Even if the agreement is for one post, if I feel I didn't do good enough for the brand, I'd try to deliver another post for them.




What are the challenges?
I just mentioned 'honest opinion'. Sometimes I feel like people think I'm not honest. Do people think that being honest means to bash someone's product publicly? No. That's not my jam. If it's not meant for me, I'll say it nicely but you'll have to read between the lines. Plus, if I'm crazy about something, you'll know because I'm probably always wearing it. I'm not going to bash someone's clothes just because I don't like it on me. I don't like instant headscarves on me, but it looks good on millions of other girls. So? 

Another challenge is probably also where I'm based. There are more events and collaborations happening abroad. But I'm not moving anytime soon so it's something that'll I'll just have to overcome.

Defining my style is also a challenge. I try to move away from being associated with Muslimah Fashion because being in that group comes with great responsibility (and public judgement), which I am still far from. I'm not perfect. Sometimes my trousers are not long enough and my ankles show (And sometimes my feet are black. heh I've had an internet troll comment on my dark-coloured feet once). 

Do I ever feel like quitting?
HAHAHA. Well... we all have that dream of saving up and investing so we can retire early. But not until I feel like I've made some sort of impact. (SUCH A MILLENIAL THING TO SAY!) Do I want to quit to pursue blogging full-time? Honestly, in other countries, it could be a sustainable profession like Song of Style. But not here. Not yet. You'll have to cross many borders and be very huge to be able to sustain yourself. It's not impossible. It's a lot of hard work. And money.


Love,


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