Hi.

I just want to talk... about a lot of things on my mind lately.



This past week has been emotional. I'm completely shattered over the recent events in New Zealand. I'm also completely baffled and hurt by all the hatred popping up in the news to not just Muslims but  other races, other religions, people with other beliefs. I cannot understand why people can't just coexist. It doesn't matter who or what you believe in or who you love. What matters is you're kind and respectful of others. Everyone's fighting their own battles. I mean... how true is that phrase? Every single one of us have battles of our own. Why would you want to add to anyone's misery? You're not perfect. You don't have a guaranteed ticket to heaven. Calm down.

I recently read an article and the writer being adopted describes her families as 'her family' and 'her real family'. I hear that a lot actually. People asking me about U's 'real' mom. I'm going to be honest here. I'm a bit triggered by the term 'real' mom. As innocent as it is, I mean I totally understand that people don't mean it that way... but what does that make me? A fake one? I am as real as it gets. I may be in tact (down there), and I don't have scars on my belly, but I try my best everyday to be the best mom I can be. I breastfed him, I did go through all the late nights, the tears, I did go through a period of feeling lost, I am constantly worrying about him, the late night visits to the outpatient clinic, we save for him monthly, we've registered him at a good school. The term 'real' mom really hurts but again I know people don't mean it that way. But maybe you could use the term 'mom' and 'birthmom'. That would be really nice and I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

We also lost one of the kindest people over the weekend--Hazim's aunt who had been unwell for a few years already. She was sort of like the glue that kept everyone together. She was kind, and sweet and graceful. I'm so lucky to have had her in my life and to be able to call her Aunty. When she passed away, I read our text msgs and she never failed to greet me on my birthday with her long sweet doas. Someone also passed away yesterday (at the time of writing) was a relative of a colleague who apparently just collapsed. She was only a few years older than me. It's scary, isn't it? You never know when's your time to go. And you start thinking about the lack of good deeds you've done and all the times you chose dunya over the afterlife. I mean... that's gotta change.

Those are the main 'tabs' that have been active in my brain. It feels good to write it down every now and then. Anyway, hope my readers are doing well. Do I still have readers? Haha


Love,




A Wave of Thoughts

Tuesday 26 March 2019

Hi.

I just want to talk... about a lot of things on my mind lately.



This past week has been emotional. I'm completely shattered over the recent events in New Zealand. I'm also completely baffled and hurt by all the hatred popping up in the news to not just Muslims but  other races, other religions, people with other beliefs. I cannot understand why people can't just coexist. It doesn't matter who or what you believe in or who you love. What matters is you're kind and respectful of others. Everyone's fighting their own battles. I mean... how true is that phrase? Every single one of us have battles of our own. Why would you want to add to anyone's misery? You're not perfect. You don't have a guaranteed ticket to heaven. Calm down.

I recently read an article and the writer being adopted describes her families as 'her family' and 'her real family'. I hear that a lot actually. People asking me about U's 'real' mom. I'm going to be honest here. I'm a bit triggered by the term 'real' mom. As innocent as it is, I mean I totally understand that people don't mean it that way... but what does that make me? A fake one? I am as real as it gets. I may be in tact (down there), and I don't have scars on my belly, but I try my best everyday to be the best mom I can be. I breastfed him, I did go through all the late nights, the tears, I did go through a period of feeling lost, I am constantly worrying about him, the late night visits to the outpatient clinic, we save for him monthly, we've registered him at a good school. The term 'real' mom really hurts but again I know people don't mean it that way. But maybe you could use the term 'mom' and 'birthmom'. That would be really nice and I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.

We also lost one of the kindest people over the weekend--Hazim's aunt who had been unwell for a few years already. She was sort of like the glue that kept everyone together. She was kind, and sweet and graceful. I'm so lucky to have had her in my life and to be able to call her Aunty. When she passed away, I read our text msgs and she never failed to greet me on my birthday with her long sweet doas. Someone also passed away yesterday (at the time of writing) was a relative of a colleague who apparently just collapsed. She was only a few years older than me. It's scary, isn't it? You never know when's your time to go. And you start thinking about the lack of good deeds you've done and all the times you chose dunya over the afterlife. I mean... that's gotta change.

Those are the main 'tabs' that have been active in my brain. It feels good to write it down every now and then. Anyway, hope my readers are doing well. Do I still have readers? Haha


Love,




“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

Before we had boyfriends or husbands, we had our gal pals. They stuck by us through all the storms that came our way, and we knew we would be okay because they were just a call away. I'm so lucky to have best friends like these. They finish off my sentences and they know what I'm thinking about by just giving them a look. When I need them, they show up with comfort food. When they need me, I drop everything to be there for them. Soulmates. I can't imagine living life without them.



8th March marks International Womens' Day and today I would like to not only celebrate our fight for gender equality... but I would like to celebrate these women in my life. They were there for me through love and heartbreaks, tears, babies, secrets, uncontrollable laughter, bad days, great days, highs and lows and internet trolls. They helped build me to be the person I am today. They made me stronger, wiser and more courageous than I could have ever been.



I wanted to share my favourite hilarious stories with my girlfriends with you but after thinking about all the things we've done (and we're ridiculous silly idiots btw), I don't think I could ever disclose them! I just spent the past two hours laughing at all these un-share-able stories that I have with them. OMG. WHAT IN THE WORLD? HAHAHA. Believe me when I say we had so much fun pre-wife days. After some filtering, these are the bearable ones (btw I've used their fake names to conceal their identities):

1. The One Where Lily Peed In The Kitchen 
Lily had been holding her pee while cooking/cleaning in the kitchen. Out of no where (that's how I remember it), her leg had pins and needles. One of us (we're pretty mean), started kicking her poor leg and soon after, we almost had a puddle in the kitchen. Love you, Lily. But we did not want to clean that mess up. HAHAHAHA.


2. The One Where We Followed Our Cute Landlord And He Made Us Walk Home
Our landlord arrived pretty early one day to sign some papers for the house. I don't know why we were in a rush or why we had to go to his office, but we left in our PJs and slippers, in our cute landlord's car. When we arrived at his house and signed off our agreements, he said bye and we were like um hello, how do we get home? It was a hilarious walk back. In our PJs. In our slippers. In the SNOW. On my birthday.... I swear when we got home, my feet were blue.

3. The One Where My Wedding Dress Ripped On Stage
During my sanding, as I was sitting down on my pelamin, my back zipper tore from the top to my bum. Thank god the top was secured with a hook because the front part of the dress was super heavy from all the beading. My girls rushed to the reception to get a sewing kit and before the night ended and I had to stand in front of cameras for photos, they've had resurrected my dress. (POORLY BTW BUT I LOVE THEM STILL.... HAHAHA I SAY POORLY BECAUSE THAT NIGHT IT TOOK US 2 HOURS TO GET ME OUT OF THAT THING! They stitched that thing back together permanently!)

4. The One Where We Were Third-Wheeling On Many Awkward Dates (I'm not going to give details but my besties know this)
a. The guy who wore a raincoat.
b. The guy who was either really nervous or really cold in the cinema that he was vibrating like a phone on his seat.
c. The guy who wore flip flops on the first date.
d. This list is endless.

5. The One Where Fiona Wore Heels To The Park And Fell On Her Knees. Twice.
She doesn't usually where heels but Kurt Geiger was on sale and we bought a million shoes. We decided to walk around in the park with our new shoes and as we were walking on the sidewalk, Fiona fell on her knees. It was so funny. It was like a cartoon moment. We all just stared at her until we broke into fits of laughter. She was literally praying (sujud) on the ground in front of cars. You had to be there. HAHA. Fiona broke up with those shoes that day.

Ahh. Where would I be without you girls?

Happy International Womens' Day, Queens. May we all lift each other and celebrate each others' successes, always. 

Love,

Gal Pals

Friday 8 March 2019

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

Before we had boyfriends or husbands, we had our gal pals. They stuck by us through all the storms that came our way, and we knew we would be okay because they were just a call away. I'm so lucky to have best friends like these. They finish off my sentences and they know what I'm thinking about by just giving them a look. When I need them, they show up with comfort food. When they need me, I drop everything to be there for them. Soulmates. I can't imagine living life without them.



8th March marks International Womens' Day and today I would like to not only celebrate our fight for gender equality... but I would like to celebrate these women in my life. They were there for me through love and heartbreaks, tears, babies, secrets, uncontrollable laughter, bad days, great days, highs and lows and internet trolls. They helped build me to be the person I am today. They made me stronger, wiser and more courageous than I could have ever been.



I wanted to share my favourite hilarious stories with my girlfriends with you but after thinking about all the things we've done (and we're ridiculous silly idiots btw), I don't think I could ever disclose them! I just spent the past two hours laughing at all these un-share-able stories that I have with them. OMG. WHAT IN THE WORLD? HAHAHA. Believe me when I say we had so much fun pre-wife days. After some filtering, these are the bearable ones (btw I've used their fake names to conceal their identities):

1. The One Where Lily Peed In The Kitchen 
Lily had been holding her pee while cooking/cleaning in the kitchen. Out of no where (that's how I remember it), her leg had pins and needles. One of us (we're pretty mean), started kicking her poor leg and soon after, we almost had a puddle in the kitchen. Love you, Lily. But we did not want to clean that mess up. HAHAHAHA.


2. The One Where We Followed Our Cute Landlord And He Made Us Walk Home
Our landlord arrived pretty early one day to sign some papers for the house. I don't know why we were in a rush or why we had to go to his office, but we left in our PJs and slippers, in our cute landlord's car. When we arrived at his house and signed off our agreements, he said bye and we were like um hello, how do we get home? It was a hilarious walk back. In our PJs. In our slippers. In the SNOW. On my birthday.... I swear when we got home, my feet were blue.

3. The One Where My Wedding Dress Ripped On Stage
During my sanding, as I was sitting down on my pelamin, my back zipper tore from the top to my bum. Thank god the top was secured with a hook because the front part of the dress was super heavy from all the beading. My girls rushed to the reception to get a sewing kit and before the night ended and I had to stand in front of cameras for photos, they've had resurrected my dress. (POORLY BTW BUT I LOVE THEM STILL.... HAHAHA I SAY POORLY BECAUSE THAT NIGHT IT TOOK US 2 HOURS TO GET ME OUT OF THAT THING! They stitched that thing back together permanently!)

4. The One Where We Were Third-Wheeling On Many Awkward Dates (I'm not going to give details but my besties know this)
a. The guy who wore a raincoat.
b. The guy who was either really nervous or really cold in the cinema that he was vibrating like a phone on his seat.
c. The guy who wore flip flops on the first date.
d. This list is endless.

5. The One Where Fiona Wore Heels To The Park And Fell On Her Knees. Twice.
She doesn't usually where heels but Kurt Geiger was on sale and we bought a million shoes. We decided to walk around in the park with our new shoes and as we were walking on the sidewalk, Fiona fell on her knees. It was so funny. It was like a cartoon moment. We all just stared at her until we broke into fits of laughter. She was literally praying (sujud) on the ground in front of cars. You had to be there. HAHA. Fiona broke up with those shoes that day.

Ahh. Where would I be without you girls?

Happy International Womens' Day, Queens. May we all lift each other and celebrate each others' successes, always. 

Love,

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