Mr Lipstickmyname and 6 things that kept us together

Tuesday 21 August 2018

Apart from my wonderful mom and dad, my greatest blessing is my husband. Umair comes pretty close (so close, I can't tell sometimes) but I know that Hazim is number 1. He's so amazing and I wouldn't have been able to do everything that I've done without him. He has been my biggest support system from the first day we met up until now. From O's to A's to university to postgraduate to finding a job to Umair... he's been there next to me through it all. He's my King. 

How did we meet?
Hazim and I met during a RoboTech inter-school competition. (Okay, you can laugh). At the mall. (Go ahead, laugh at my cliche love story). I was representing my all-girls high-school, and Hazim was there to support his schoolmates. We were 15 and in Form 5. (Quite frankly, I was a nerd and enjoyed building that robot mouse with my team mates from scratch. Shout out to my Physics Teacher, Sir Leong! We also managed to go home second place, so GO GIRLS!)

I was with one of my best friends, M, and I was telling her how I thought that this one tall guy was handsome! She suddenly shrieked out of disgust 'EW! That's my cousin!' but gladly enough she introduced us and we started chatting on MSN. But things didn't start yet. Mostly because O's was about to start #GoodGirl.

How long have you been together?
We started officially dating (tsk tsk tsk) during our first week in Sixth Form. That was back in 2006. 11 years later, we're 4 years married with a son. Alhamdulillah. We studied in Nottingham and London together, and now we work in the same building. Some people ask if it ever annoys us that we see each other too much. I honestly don't get it. First of all, I don't have to drive to work. Second of all, when we talk about other people we know who the other person is referring to! Hahaha. Okay in all seriousness, being able to see Hazim almost every single day since 2006 has been a gift! He's my best friend.  

6 things that kept us together.
I initially typed out '10' but couldn't think of that many haha. Okay first and foremost, we are not perfect... whose relationship is, right? But if you ask me, what made us last this long... I think it's because:

1. We fight.
I think it's important to not hold things in. I'm never one to keep mum if things bother me because if I do, it'll blow up out of proportion in the end over something so small and Hazim will think I'm making it a big deal when it's actually about 100 other things I never told him about. I love it that whenever we're upset and hurt about a few things, we talk it out until we feel better. Key word being talk--don't nag (I'm still working on that fyi).

2. We forgive.
Everyone makes mistakes as cliche as it sounds but it's really important that when someone makes a mistake, you forgive them. You try to understand them with an open-mind and you do not judge them. It's part of accepting one's flaws and loving unconditionally I suppose. Frankly, I'm the type to hold grudges and I'm not very forgiving, but Hazim has taught me how to. He showed me how to be kinder and how to think of why the other person did whatever it is they have done.

3.  Hazim said it's important to not take things to heart.
He's such a boy. 

Obviously, we take things to heart. All the time. If he says hi abruptly, you take it to heart that he doesn't care. If he can't decide where to take you to eat, you take it to heart that he doesn't care. If he doesn't tell you your beautiful after you've spent 4 hours dolling up... you get the drift.

But he has a point. We shouldn't be taking things to heart. I always constantly remind myself that we're with each other 24/7 now--it's a marriage--and when you're spending forever with someone, they're bound to do something that would upset you. So yes, I think he's completely right on this one.

4. Celebrate the little things.
We also celebrate the little things too, not just your anniversary or your birthdays. But all those other dates in between or before that, that we always celebrate to keep us reminded of whatever we've gone through. I don't know about you, but my memory can store up to 5 years worth of data (10 if I'm lucky)... so all this constant reminding is good for me and hopefully would remind him how super cute I was hahaha. 

5. We're super silly and goofy 
Like really. We're two of the uncoolest people on this planet and we're hilariously lame. We sing and dance (horribly) in the car and make terrible jokes and laugh at ourselves. I don't think I could ever be with someone who always kept their cool. I mean, I get bored easily, so keeping me entertained is probably key.

6. Putting effort in big events
Okay, some might argue that this is highly unnecessary. But to me it is because I value big gestures (if you don't, then great... you can skip this). Blame all the rom-coms that I've watched growing up. Thankfully, Hazim is great at it. Maybe I'll talk about this more later on. I've also learnt that I should be fair and put more effort into planning his birthday and his gifts or just surprising him on a random day. It's nice. But obviously Hazim is better at this than I am.

Well, that's all I got so far. It's all about putting in the work isn't it? Stories only tell you about the thrill of the chase but they never talk about what happens after happily ever after. Will keep you updated if I have more... or better, tell me yours! Speak soon!


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