I always thought introversion was
a disease until I stumbled upon a Ted Talk by Susan Cain about The Power of
Introverts. That changed the way I saw myself and all the other introverts I’ve
met and known. I’m currently reading her book called Quiet Power and it’s interesting how much it resonates with me. I’m
an introvert despite what everyone thinks.
I know what you’re thinking.
She’s a social media influencer (use
word with caution) and of course she’s an extrovert. Wrong. Social Media is the
platform where I am able to express myself through pictures. It’s where I am
able to wander into the creative abyss and get inspired. I am able to express
myself through the captions, through the garments… through comments and direct
messages. I am able to be me… by hitting ‘post’.
I know you’re also thinking that
I’m not so bad with communicating with people on a daily basis. I admit. I’m
not awful at striking conversations and keeping the conversations going. But in
that book, it talks about how while introverts can also have normal
conversations, it drains them out faster than extroverts. Which basically
means, after a lot of conversations, meeting new people, being in new
environments and attending social events… I need to take a step back and be in
my own world before I lose it. (Which is why I love being in my room in
complete silence with my book or… just some alone time with Youtube and
Netflix).
Some people don’t really
understand this trait. They take it as being anti-social or sombong. But it really does wear me out
sometimes. Don’t get me wrong… I do enjoy meeting new people and attending cool
launches and fashion shows. I just need some quiet time after that to keep myself
balanced.
I feel like introverts are
especially misunderstood… at work… in school… basically anywhere you go they
seem to only be rewarding the extroverts who are loud and brave and confident
and outspoken. That leaves the introverts being scrutinized as being somewhat
empty. People sometimes mistake quietness for having no ideas or questions or
opinions. In fact… it’s the opposite. We have too many ideas, too many
questions and too many opinions. We overthink everything. I don’t know about
you, but I’m very calculative when it comes to formal discussions. I overthink
every word that comes out of my mouth. Is my question stupid? Will my opinion
offend others? Will my idea be good enough? Sometimes I admire the extroverts
and how confident they can be. (Sometimes they can say the darnest things and
still look smart).
I’m not against these extroverts.
I often try to mingle with them just so I can learn how to be one. The book
also mentions how when extroverts and introverts work together, magic can
happen because they complement one another. Like Steve Jobs and Stephen
Wozniak. Wozniak invented the first Apple computer and Steve Jobs’s charismatic
behavior was able to drive it (yet when you think of Apple… you think of Jobs).
My point exactly.
I get anxiety attacks every now
and then. Not super hyperventilating attacks… but milder dull anxieties in the
chest that just would not subside. Probably because I overthink some things but
mainly because sometimes circumstances force you to be an extrovert. Like at
work… my superior commented how I was being overshadowed by a colleague and I
think as my performance bonus depends on it… the only way to stop that from
happening is to be more visible. I am definitely up for the challenge… but
again I don’t think people understand how much it exhausts me. My colleague is
a natural when it comes to voicing out his opinions or being the first to talk.
I have to have arguments with myself in my head first. But now I have to not be
myself and flip a switch to be this other person. So to him, it would probably
just require a glass of water to get his energy back. But to me… I kind of need
breakfast, lunch and a nap.
Now you’re thinking, maybe I
should just land a job where I’m in the backseat. You’re wrong again.
Introverts don’t necessarily want to be at the back all the time. Some also
dream of leading. But it’s okay fellow introverts, I got one tip for you. Push
yourself to do that damn thing that's giving you anxiety. I sang in front of hundreds of people at the DST Carnival back in
2015 because of this reason. I thought I was going to collapse. Sometimes you have to push yourself to see what
you’re capable of. Till this day, when I get the jitters, I tell myself… if I
can sing in front of hundreds of people, I can definitely give one presentation
in front of the Board. The more you push your boundaries, the more practice you
get… and the anxiety will slowly lessen. That doesn't mean you should stop being you. Retreat whenever you need to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Love,
love this post, keep on writing
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