Ramblings and a Candid Photo

Monday, 3 February 2020

I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself. I feel like... the version of me you've painted in your head (especially if we've never met), is really not my responsibility. People think I care a lot about what other people think. I guess that's correct to some extent. I care if people think I'm a mean bully because that is the last thing I want to be. I've been cyber-bullied by strangers who talk smack about me (atu boleh?) and it does not feel nice. So, why would I ever intentionally make anyone feel that way? 

Who says I never post candid photos? I've posted ugly photos of me on stories and FB. Also... why can't I keep my IG to only nice ones?

I do not, however, care about what people say about my outfit. I totally get it you know because style is incredibly subjective. What I like to wear may be something you completely hate. And vice versa. I love my Staud handbag, which I'm sure some of you do not understand as it looks like a pasu/vase. Haha I totally agree with you guys on that but I suppose that makes it charming to me.

I also do NOT care what everyone else wears. I said this during the Fasting Bro interview but it wasn't included in the version released--I said that people should wear whatever makes them happy. You do you. No matter what anyone says. I stand by that completely. I understand that everyone is different and we have different preferences and it makes fashion interesting, don't you think? I'm completely oblivious to my surroundings, so when I read posts of people saying that I look down on others as I scan them from head to toe..... GIRLLLLLL, I PROBABLY LOVE YOUR OUTFIT THAT'S WHY I'M LOOKING. (BTW... young people these days dress to the nines man! AMAZING). Nevertheless, I apologize completely if I've ever given you that vibe. I really... don't judge people based on the clothes they wear. Fashion is a statement--whether you dress up or dress down. It is your statement to make... and I'm appreciative of that. 

If you could take a peek into my mind, you'll realize that I do not just think about taking 100 photos to take the perfect shot (??). It's hilarious because do you think I don't have some kind of life? Hahaha I have a full time job that's been more and more demanding. I have deadlines to hit. I have bills to pay. I have a son to raise... friends to talk to. I have family matters to attend to. Birthdays. Gatherings. GAME NIGHTS. It's 2020. Can we please stop assuming things? And even if I was taking 100 photos just to get that one perfect shot, can we just let people be?

I'm still not a fan of instant hijabs though---WAIT I HAVE A REASON--it's only because I hate it on me. Someone on reddit has mentioned it--that I have an alien-shaped face. That is indeed correct. I don't know what is up with my faceshape haha. But it is exactly why I cannot fit into instant hijabs. It's not because of privilege or money. Ya'll are the privileged ones. You have been blessed with a nice face shape that won't make you feel strangled in an instant. 

But anyway, I just hope people remember that whatever is edited into a segment or a show does not depict the entire conversation. Also, when I say I do not like something, it ain't a diss. I also do not like Maggi Ayam but I'm pretty sure a lot of you will disagree and say it's nice... and that's perfectly fine. (Maggi Asam Laksa bruh... best thing ever). That's all.

REMEMBER: You do you! I mean it when I say it. All love.

Additionally, I would like to just take it as lessons learnt. I just have to be more aware of how I am in public. So thank you. 

Love,
N.

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